Start A New Page

in my new school, i'm trying to start a new whole blank page to fill. and the word 'him' shouldn't exist in my page. my memories with him, my pain, the smile that we share together, the dictionary that we share during English class everything that might cause me pain in the future shall be gone. but that's a task with an extreme difficulty level. forgetting him is just too hard. and i'm thinking just how to bare the pain of not seeing 'him' that i dear the most.

now, every morning i went to school, he will not be there. and i just wanted to put this in mind every time that he is not there. so, we can't share dictionary during english class, we can't play around like idiots, we can't do things together now like we did before. i shall forget about him, even if it costs pain. and i'm thinking, to find a new love.

i saw a guy and i like him, but it doesn't last long, he's not like 'him' that i dear the most. Japanese guy, don't like him anymore. and then i saw this guy not really good-looking in fact he's a bad-looking guy. and i fall for him for quite a long time. and i just have to face the fact that he's a jerk. well, he's not special anyway .

there are lot of things that i dislike in my new school. teachers come first. and second the people. and i just don't like the school and it rules. but the friends are friendly . there are no bullying. but still, in the morning i have to drag myself going to school. and in my mind is shit shit shit shit. that's it no matter where i go, complains always come out from my mouth. and now i'm grade 8, i don't expect anything great.